


Why He Wears That Wristband

by nagi_schwarz



Series: Foxtrot [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis, The Dollhouse - Fandom
Genre: Crossover, Gen, not actually RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-26 07:06:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6228622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/nagi_schwarz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the LJ comment_fic prompt: Stargate Atlantis, John Sheppard, why he wears that wristband.</p><p>Pre-series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why He Wears That Wristband

John wore the wristband because what was under it was disturbing. He'd worn the wristband for as along as he could remember, and if he thought about what was under it for too long, he'd get a splitting headache. The worst of it had been after the disaster in Afghanistan. He'd been grounded on base for weeks while they decided what to do with him, and the base doctor who'd checked him over had taken off the wristband.  
  
“What does this mean? I've never seen it in your file.”  
  
Identifying marks were listed in medical files in case dog tags failed.  
  
The doctor squinted at the curves of black ink. “ _The Dollhouse is real. My name is Joe Flanigan_. That's weird. Did you lose a bet or were you just really drunk?”  
  
And John had spiraled into something that was part migraine, part hallucination, and ended in a forty-eight-hour coma while a specialist was called in.  
  
When he’d awoken, the tattoo had been removed, but the scar remained, and he still knew what it had said. He also knew better than to admit he remembered it, and when the specialist asked him how he got the burn scar on his wrist, the pain hit. He could remember the schoolteacher-perfect cursive, those strange words. He could also remember fighting with Nancy, reaching for the coffee pot, and boiling liquid erupting at him. But he kept his expression neutral, and he told the story about the coffee, leaving out any mention of Nancy.  
  
The specialist dismissed him, and he didn't wait till John was completely out of earshot - John had slowed down as soon as he rounded the corner and was out of sight. The specialist called someone.  
  
“Adelle, this is insane. We have to get him a new handler immediately. He almost compromised an entire military operation trying to rescue his handler because we had to put his handler in an oblique position to avoid running afoul of DADT. Get me a female handler the same rank as him who will never be in his chain of command but will always be posted with him, or we could be looking at another composite event. Don’t _Now Topher_ me. I know the Sheppards are massive Rossum backers, but they won't be getting their money's worth if Foxtrot gets himself killed in action, now will they? And we won't find another one who looks enough like John Sheppard to replace him.”  
  
That was all John needed to hear. When they sent him to McMurdo, he studiously avoided any of the female majors, wary when they were nice to him, because he was a screw-up, and not a particularly nice guy. If they were being nice to him, they had ulterior motives. And then he sat in that chair, and he was offered a position on the Atlantis Expedition, and he ran. So classified and so far away that none of his family’s connections could ever find him.  
  
Atlantis did talk to him in her own way. John didn't like to talk about it, partially because it was hard to explain, and partially because it wasn't always Atlantis talking to him. The first time he'd interfaced with Atlantis in the control chair, she had crooned at him, about how broken his wiring was, and she would fix him. While he worked with her, she worked with him, and he could remember...everything. The Dollhouse. Every imprint he'd ever had (including a physicist who would give Rodney a run for his money or who had maybe been partially based on Rodney). That Nancy was his first handler and Holland his second and now he was alone, and he’d suffered a composite event.  
  
He could pretend none of it was real, because no one had to know. Joe was in there with the others, and John accessed their skills when he needed to and could get away with it (he couldn't get away with doing Rodney's job, not yet, but he’d planted the seeds with the MENSA mention, and if things were dire enough, he'd do what he had to to save his team). But he was John Sheppard, the John Sheppard he had chosen for himself when he’d come to Atlantis. This John Sheppard was as real as Joe, and he was here to stay. A few scarred over lines of ink on the inside of his wrist couldn't change that.


End file.
